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start a cult
Apr 2001
BY MICHAEL DOJC

Follow our divine plan for founding your very own cult and you'll have a devoted following in plenty of time to greet the mother ship.

Start Smiling

Even the most demented cult leaders, from Charlie Manson to Martha Stewart, are charismatic. "It's all that micro-interaction in personal contact that hooks the person," says Lorne L. Dawson, author of Comprehending Cults: The Sociology of New Religious Movements. You can even lie at will, as long as you're charming: Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard claimed to be both an atomic scientist and an undercover agent.

Find a Philosophy

For your doctrine to appeal to the masses-or at least to weak-minded celebrities-you must focus on instant gratification. "[Children of God founder] David Berg got a revelation, announced it, and started sending young women to nightclubs to recruit men," says Dawson. "He took the Christian principle of love and extended it." Seems logical.

Recruit And Retain

The good news: Research has shown that people joining cults tend to be young, educated, well-off, and charitable. The bad news: Ninety percent of those who join quit less than two years later. Most cults are housed in urban settings, not remote tinderbox compounds, forcing your twisted little world to compete with the lure of normal life. So have your most trusted devotees coerce the flock. Convince wayward lambs that they need the cult, that life on the outside is grim, and that the people they alienated won't welcome them back. Hey, that sounds suspiciously like our jobs.

 

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