Cry On Command: Because nothing says "I'm sorry" like believable weeping. Missed your wedding again? You need to leave reminders.

Remember Anything: Because that string on your finger is cutting off circulation. Missed your wedding again? You need to leave reminders.

Lemieux vs. Le Pew One’s a hockey comeback player looking to score; the other’s a cocky stripe-backed playa looking for amour. But who’s really got more game?

Shaq vs. Iraq One's the center for the world champ Lakers;the other's the test field fo the world's bomb makers. But who's about to, uh, take it to the hole?

Fell A Tree: That proud oak blocking your view of the Home for Nudist Catholic Schoolgirls? Take it out! Unfortunately, felling a 300-year-old redwood isn't as easy as chopping down a puny cherry tree.

Start a Cult: Who needs family and friends when you could have minions? Follow our divine plan for founding your very own cult and you'll have a devoted following in plenty of time to greet the mother ship.

HOW TO START A HAREM: When it's time to sheik your booty and chase some veil Sure, we all know monogamy's the way to go. But haven't you ever wondered what it might be like to have a few dozen ladies on the side?

The Life of a Maxim Intern "Hi, my name's Michael Dojc I'm the new intern and this is my first day," I announce to an incredibly sexy blonde receptionist who almost causes one of my dreaded "what ifs" to come true.

Roll Sushi Could the power to turn raw, dead meat into a gourmet treat actually lie in your clumsy hands?

How To Supercharge Your PC Want your computer to zip along the information superhighway at stock-car speeds? Use these cheap tips to get it up to speed