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Lemieux
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Le Pew
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WHAT’S IN A NAME?
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French for “the best”
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French for “the uncomfortable church seat”
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Edge: Lemieux
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SHAMEFUL ROOTS
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From Quebec
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From France
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Edge: Draw
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DISABILITIES
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Herniated disc, broken hand, debilitating back injury, cancer
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Horrible stench
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Edge: Lemieux
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FAST START
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Debuted October 11, 1984; scored on first NHL shot 78 seconds into the game
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Debuted January 6, 1945; has yet to score
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Edge: Lemieux
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PET PEEVE
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Too much clutching, grabbing, and hooking
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Not enough clutching, grabbing, and hooking
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Edge: Le Pew
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FATAL FLAW
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Plays D like an arthritic grandmother with no skates
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Can’t tell a skunk from a painted cat
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Edge: Le Pew
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LAYOFF TIME
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Out for 3 1/2 years before returning this season
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Hasn’t starred in his own cartoon since 1962
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Edge: Lemieux
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PROTÉGÉ
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Czech sniper Jaromir Jagr
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Tiny Toon Fifi La Fume
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Edge: Lemieux
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PLACE IN HISTORY
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Best player ever after Howe, Gretzky, Orr
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Best cartoon ever after Bugs, Daffy, Porky, Speedy, Sylvester, Marvin, Donald, Mickey, Fievel…
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Edge: Lemieux
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AND THE WINNER IS
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By a score of 6–2, the Penguin ices the skunk. Ah, the sweet smell of success.
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