Put Safety First

Unfortunately, felling a 300-year-old redwood isn't as easy as chopping down a puny cherry tree. As with most things cool, you're gonna need some gear. "You should have safety boots, a hard hat with visor, hearing protection, safety pants, and gloves," says veteran British Columbia logger Kim Lodge. You'll also need a loud gun to scare off the spotted owls, and something to clear away the roots later. "A mini-excavator will do the job," says Lodge, "or a little Bobcat that hooks onto the roots with a chain." Rippling muscles are sold separately, although manly scars can certainly be arranged.

Start Your Engines

Your first cut, the undercut, should be about a foot off the ground, on the side of the tree facing the direction you want it to fall. "Keep your saw level and cut in about six inches," Lodge instructs. "Then remove your saw, come up two or three inches, and cut down diagonally to meet the deepest part of your initial cut." Kick out the wedge of trunk, take a moment to breathe in the fresh pine air, and light up a smoke.

Take It From Behind