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02.04.99
Transit Tales My friend and I were riding northbound on the subway coming back home from a sub-par concert at Lee's, and my ears were ringing like cowbells. A couple of big homie-wannabe-types were sitting across from us and they began to give us the evil eye. Then one of them stood up and walked right up to our seats. He towered over us while clinging onto the overhead rail. "Hey man, you looking at me! You wanna go?" he spurted out. My friend looked really freaked out -- he could obviously hear what the guy was saying (he had been wearing ear plugs at the concert). I thought the guy was asking for the time so I told him innocently that it was a quarter after one. "Excuse me, you punky! You make one more smart-ass comment and I'm going to pummel you." Again I failed to hear what he said, but he looked all agitated so I told him to speak up: "I can't hear you, could you talk a little louder?" I cordially advised. He didn't take too well to this constructive criticism of his volume control and wound his fist back as if he were going to smack me. Just then the train pulled into Eglinton station and my prospective assailant stumbled over and fell onto the floor. I helped him up and then left the train. All the passengers had weird, stunned looks on their faces as if they had just seen a ghost or something. On the way home my friend told me the whole story and I smiled brightly, as I revelled in my misinformed bravery. |
